Let’s be honest, networking in person can feel icky, awkward, exhausting and even a little intimidating. As someone who coaches professionals on building stronger connections, I hear it all the time: “I know I should network…but I just don’t enjoy it.”
The good news? You’re not alone. According to research from Harvard Business Review, many professionals report feeling inauthentic or awkward while networking—yet we all know it’s a vital part of growing our careers and staying relevant in our industries.
The better news? A few simple shifts can make in-person networking not only tolerable but even fun. Here are my top 5 tips for navigating a room with confidence, even if the thought of small talk makes you want to run for the exit.
1. Arrive Early (Yes, Really)
Walking into a packed room is overwhelming. But arriving early allows you to:
- Meet the hosts or organizers. They often know everyone and can make introductions based on who you want to meet.
- Let conversations come to you. Early arrivals tend to start chatting with whoever’s already there—often the early birds get the best connections.
- Get the lay of the land. Locate key areas like the food, drinks, restrooms and exits. Knowing your surroundings builds comfort and confidence.
2. Wear Something That Sparks Conversation
This isn’t about being flashy, it’s about being memorable. A bold color, a statement necklace or even quirky socks or a pocket square can serve as a natural conversation starter.
It also works the other way: If someone else is wearing something interesting, complimenting it is an easy way to break the ice.
Or, if you’re like Steve Jobs and wear the same thing every day—say, a black turtleneck—you’ve already created a memorable signature. He’s been gone for years, but no one has forgotten that look.
Pro tip: Research shows that visual memory is stronger than verbal. A unique wardrobe choice might help someone remember you later.
3. Don’t Be a Wallflower—Stand Where the Action Is
Position yourself near the food, the bar or the center of the room, not near the edges. These are the high-traffic zones where people are more likely to strike up a conversation.
If standing alone feels awkward, hold a drink (non-alcoholic is perfectly acceptable) or a plate as a social anchor. You’ll look more relaxed and approachable—even if your heart is pounding.
Pro Tip: If you don’t drink alcohol, a club soda or tonic water with bitters and a lime looks like a cocktail, and bitters have calming properties that may ease nerves.
4. Take Notes Like a Pro
Real connections are built on follow-through. But in the rush of a busy event, it’s easy to forget names, companies or that interesting fact someone mentioned about their recent trip to Barcelona.
Create a note in your phone titled with the event name and date, and jot down details like:
- Who you met
- What you talked about
- Any follow-up actions you want to take
And yes, it’s perfectly fine to say, “Do you mind if I make a quick note so I don’t forget this?” It shows you’re genuinely listening—and makes the other person feel seen.
If you don’t get to do it in the moment, pull your phone out between conversations and jot down what you remember. Or make notes before you get in your car to drive home or while you’re on the train or bus.
Now your follow-up can be personalized. I promise it’s never too late to follow-up.
Pro Tip: Block 30 minutes on your calendar the next day to send personalized follow-ups. It’s one of the most overlooked networking habits—and one of the most effective.
5. Turn It into a Game of “Where’s Waldo?”
Gamifying the networking experience can ease the pressure. Try this:
- Before the event: Review the attendee list or event app. Identify 3–5 people you’d love to meet. Then, at the event pretend they’re Waldo and seek them out.
- At the event: Pick a theme like “people wearing green” or “anyone holding a tote bag.” These mini-missions give you a reason to approach strangers and can make the whole experience more lighthearted.
This mindset shift from pressure to curiosity helps move you from networking dread to intentional discovery. Hey, you never know what can spark and you never know who they know that can spark something even bigger.
Bonus: Lead with a Compliment
A sincere compliment is often the best conversation starter. Try:
- “That was a great question you asked earlier.”
- “I really like your glasses. That color looks great on you.”
- “I noticed your company on the attendee list. I’ve been curious about what you do.
It’s a low-stakes way to begin a dialogue, and most people appreciate the positive energy.
Final Thoughts
Networking doesn’t have to feel like a chore. With a few strategic tweaks, you can walk into any room with a plan, a purpose and a bit more peace of mind. The key is to make the experience your own—one genuine connection at a time.
